In the last six months there have been many situations that have made me appreciate my own mom even more.  You know those times as a teenager where you would roll your eyes at your Mom or Dad?  Ya, stop doing that! You’ll have to backtrack and feel mighty silly later.  My Mom used to be incredibly nervous when we would head out on our own, especially when we would be out driving in the winter.  Actually I shouldn’t say  ’used’ she still does hate when we are out on the roads.

This last three weeks have given me a whole new perspective on how my Mom feels.  The weather in Alberta has been terrible, making the roads pretty much disgusting.  Even just two years ago I would not have put too much thought into it. I would have  still ventured out and just told Mom “I will be extra careful”.

Flash forward to now….I have been housebound for three weeks. I can not imagine taking Aubrey out on the roads. Just the thought of going out unless it was absolutely necessary makes me cringe.  THEN it makes me think about when Aubrey reaches 16 and can drive on her own…*picture me laying in the fetal position in a corner*!! Ben and I have wondered if we start now trying to convince Aubrey that she never wants to leave the house or us then she will always just stay.  Not sure how successful we will be.   Ben has hopes that there will be technology by then that just simply does not allow accidents to happen. I like his optimism, but I think I will stick with the brainwashing technique for now.

Peace!

And stay off the roads…you know your Moms would be much happier!

About a month, or maybe two, ago I started greeting Aubrey the exact same way every morning. First I start to undo her swaddle blanket.  At the same time I say “A Morning Sunshine”.  Don’t ask why I say it incorrect I just do!  As I say it she gives me the best smile and  shoots her arms in the air !  So now it’s kinda our thing. BUT, she is now one upping me!  I wake up every morning to her giggling to herself in bed just waiting for one of us to finally pay attention to her.  When I say every morning I am not even lying she seriously does it every morning.

Our newest thing is after I bust her out of her crib she comes and lays and talks to me. I am a little worried about our future phone bills!  This baby does not stop talking. I actually feel like video taping her for a full day just to show people. The constant chatter is also mixed with her having outbursts of laughter. Apparently life is pretty funny to her!

I know I am totally bragging about her right now…but I can’t help it.  She seriously is one of the happiest babies ever.  Just spending my days with her shows me the kind of person I want to be. She is so not phased by anything. And when something does come her way she handles it so well. I know, I know every person tells me “just wait for number two”.  But right now Number One is pretty freaking amazing!

Recently Ben and I had a couple of friends over to do some canning. They brought their baby along with them. He is adorable and 5 days older than Aubrey. I had a silent fight with myself while they were here. Baby Liam was awake a good majority of the time, while Aubrey slept. AND Liam showed off his sweet skills such as laughing, rolling over, babbling.  This is where my competitive nature kicked in. Aubrey and I were going to have to have a chat when she woke up. We needed to talk about how she really needed to consider trying a laugh out or even rocking a bit while laying down.

I had to tell myself that well he IS 5 whole days older. AND Aubrey is just so happy and content to lay and smile and babble that she just didn’t NEED to learn how to roll or laugh for that matter!  Sigh…I hope she gets Ben’s non-competitive nature…

Peace!

I feel so blessed that Aubrey is going to get to grow up in a very similar way to me.  Growing up with all of my cousins is something I would never trade for anything.  Even though we are at a point in our lives where it is a bit harder for some of us to find the time to be together I still consider them my best friends. All of my best memories of friends are with Justine and Jamie…ok and David too.  I have countless stories of how much fun it was growing up with them and the trouble we could all get into, especially when we were all together. I don’t ever recall a time of actually fighting with them. I know we all had times where when someone was being unreasonable we would all gang up on them and set them straight a bit…cough..Sarah..cough. I mean it once came down to us even having to write a song for Sarah. We took care of each other. I knew that no matter what happened I had them, like when Sarah and Justine led us astray in Denver(you know what I am talking about!)

On top of growing up with ready made friends, I got the experience of little sisters through Jaelayne and Dakota. I remember dragging them around to movies, shopping, swimming or just hanging out with them at home having date night. Ty gave me the experience of a brother I never had…and sometimes never wanted (that’s right I remember you trying to run me down with your bike!).

It was the ultimate way to grow up. I still look forward to my time with all of my cousins and Aunts and Uncles. I feel so happy knowing that Aubrey is going to get the same experience growing up. In some ways it can be potentially more powerful, she will even get to be in the same school as a lot of her cousins.

So, in short this is a shout out to my cousins (ok and sisters). I love you all (even you Duggy).  I love watching all of the new little guys starting to connect and become buddies. Although the youngest ones may have to turn Sarah’s “Mother of the House” song into Bella’s, since she clearly thinks she is the boss of all the little guys.

Peace!

I feel like I forgot how quickly babies change (I spent a lot of time with my sisters kids when they were babies) it seems like she is an entirely different baby. Last week I had to retire her Newborn sized clothes which was quite sad, although I felt pretty impressed she last that long in them since my sisters babies barely fit in them in the first place. That makes me feel like we won a contest since if it could be one I am sure my family would make it one.

She also started to stay awake a lot more in a day. Which is nice to see her becoming a bit more active and aware of her surroundings. When we pass her to other people to hold she will open her eyes long enough to check out who has her now then settles back into a restful sleep.  BUT the best thing she does is smiles!!  Aww when she throws one of them at me it totally melts me. She does this really cute thing where she really scrunches her nose up when her smile is really big. Her eyes also squint, much like mine do when I smile.  She seems a bit unsure of the whole smiling thing though.  One of her first really big smiles part ways through she stopped and looked like she wanted to cry because she wasn’t sure what was happening.

The only thing that might pass the smile is when she discovers her laugh. Both Ben and I are anxiously awaiting that day. I don’t think I ever realized how powerful something like a smile truly is. Not until you see it happen for the first time.

Peace!

In the hours we spent in the hospital the staff there was great. They would come in for quick visits to see how we were doing and if we needed anything. In general we did not need anything. I was already feeling pretty great and Aubrey was the perfect baby…except for one thing…insert the lie here.

Every time a nurse walked into the room they asked “how’s nursing going?”  and everytime I answered “oh better” or “oh great I think she is getting it”.  All the while I new she was not quite doing it right. But, being the stubborn person I am I thought I could figure it out or that it would magically start to just happen properly. In reality, Aubrey was getting nourishment but to my detriment.  Nursing was like being put in a torture chamber. When she finally latched she was great and would nurse like a champ. BUT getting her to latch was a half hour process of me patiently waiting her out.  We eventually figured out that she was having troubles with the way I was holding her. When her ears were flat against my arm she was very unhappy. As soon as I held her proper things were going great!

THEN just as things were looking up I got the mastitis. One night after nursing my body started to have chills andI was running a fever. I fought my mom and Ben saying clearly I was just cold and needed to warm up then would be fine. I convinced them enough to leave me alone for another night. Well the next morning we were off to emergency….4 hours later the ER Doctor informed I should have been in sooner since I was not far off of having an abcess. Yikes! So I took my 5 days worth of drugs and was sure things were finally going great.  3 days later I woke up and within hours realized I had mastitis AGAIN! Honestly at this point I was sure if I was a cow I would have been culled, there was no way someone would keep me or let me have another calf.

One other little issue I had forgot to tell my doctor that I have an allergy to Latex. Another little white lie that got me into some trouble. My doctor was adamant that I use 100% PURE LANOLIN. He really pushed this and I listened. I smeared that pure Lanolin all over me over and over and over again. And everyday I told my Mom and Ben that I was sure my skin was burning worse and worse everyday.  Sure enough guess what one of the main ingredients is in Latex….Lanolin!  So, off we were to find a Lanolin free cream. Sigh.

So those little white lie to get myself out of the hospital turned into a bit of an issue. Moral of the story if you are about to have a baby maybe don’t lie to get out of the hospital.

Peace!

The next day after my appointment I was having some major contractions and was totally convinced that I was heading into the hospital. By about 10 oclock in the evening they completely stopped. I was beyond frustrated!!  The next day I felt nothing I was pretty much convinced I was going to be overdue.  Luckily my phone had stopped working so no one could call and ask if I was in labor yet. I hit a really bad sleepy spell late that afternoon so decided to sleep. I woke up a few times from some small contractions but decided to ignore them. Ben took me out to a movie that night to try and distract me. Throughout the entire movie I was having contractions but refused to tell Ben or anyone because I didn’t want to end up with them stopping again.

I went to bed that night expecting the contractions to totally stop. I woke up at 2:30 with contractions every 3 minutes. I was still pretty much in denial and was convinced they would stop. I got up and paced the house a bit and tried laying on the couch.  Laying and sitting at that point were not an option so I headed for the shower. I woke Ben up, his response was that he thought it was weird I would be having a shower so late at night…and he went back to sleep!!  Finally at about 3:30 I told Ben he really needed to wake up this time because we needed to head in, just to get checked out (yes still in denial).  We got to the hospital around 4 am and were right away checked into the L&D room.

Labor was actually a lot easier to handle then I thought it would be. By no means was it easy!  Finally around 9 am after not being able to sit or lay to rest I asked if I could have some sort of drugs. They gave me a shot of phentanol along with the mask to the laughing gas.  I was told to only use the laughing gas during a contraction. I may or may not have pretended contractions were lasting a lot longer so I could use more of it!  By 11, I was finally ready to push.  Now other women tell you this is the best part, that all pain goes away and it’s easy…LIARS!! I still cringe thinking of it.  I may have even asked my doctor at one point after he refused to give me anymore drugs, if as soon as the baby was born if he would just knock me out.

At 12:21 on July 22, at 38 weeks, Aubrey Violet was born.  I told my doctor he had not specified to Ben whether he meant 4 am or pm!  She has been such a great baby. She is really calm it takes quite a bit to get her worked up. I would also like to send out a quick Thank You to everyone who has stopped by and who has given such beautiful gifts to Aubrey. It is greatly appreciated.

So this is the quick shortened version of her birth. I am hoping to get writing on here more often. There have been some funny and great times since bringng Aubrey home that I am sure all would enjoy.

Peace!

But, hearing him say that made me realize if I ever did go that early it is only 2 WEEKS away!!!  Even if we make it to our due date or a little passed that is only 5 weeks. When I look at those numbers it makes it seem like it will be here in no time at all. THEN I have a night like the last few where my body hurts so bad I just can’t sleep and 5 weeks seems like another whole 9 months.

Now for the intimidating part. Delivery. Do I need to say more??  I am attempting a natural birth, my doctor also prefers that his patients try it before jumping into the epidural world. But, then I hear lovely epidural stories from people who say they would never do it without and the intimidation sets in. I spend most of my time trying not to think about the labour and delivery part, although in the last week I have had a few very minor contractions that make me have to think about it. Which also makes me think….*said in dreamy way* epiduralllll….

Even with the nerves that come with thinking about labour I am so excited that we are in the home stretch. We are so close to finally meeting our sweet baby, that I know no matter how bad the labour and delivery part is it will all totally be worth it in the end!

Peace!

So, this time I am beyond excited that I am actually in the province and able to go see baby Scarlett much easier.   Hopefully i will get a chance to see her in a few days when they are settled back in at home.

When I found out Justine had her baby this morning I had three thoughts run though my head. 1) YAY!  2) Dammit I wish that was me  3) Dammit I am next!!!  It has brought a lot more reality to the fact that my very own due date is only 7 weeks away.  There are so many days where it seems like that will never come, but now it seems a lot closer than it once did!

Peace!

I have often been asked throughout my pregnancy if I am enjoying being pregnant. I had a really difficult time answering this and at first I would pretty much lie to people and tell them how much I liked it!  Then I started to strongly believe that women who say they do are a bunch of liars. Cause who loves 24/7 heartburn??  But then something happens…

You feel those first movements. They come just as flutters at first.  When I first started feeling them I was early enough a long that obviously no one else could. It felt like the baby and I had a secret bond going on.  I would be in a crowd of people and feel the baby move. That feeling always made me light up inside. It was like the baby was letting me know they were there and not to forget about them.

There was a short time where I felt bad telling Ben that I was feeling the baby move.  There was no way he was going to feel it for at least a few weeks and he was already having a hard time feeling like the pregnancy was real.  And in some ways I wanted to selfishly keep it to myself.   The movements now at almost 31 weeks are far more dramatic.  It’s gotten to the point where, depending on how baby is laying, we can feel body parts. The first time I realized that I was SO excited.  I was laying in bed early one morning waiting for Ben to wake up and the baby was really moving and I started to realize that if I felt around while the baby did this I could feel a foot or the bum.  I again selfishly wanted to keep it to myself.  It seemed like such an intimate moment. A few days later I finally grabbed Ben’s hand to let him feel it…which in turn made me feel badly when I saw how much he lit up. He was beyond excited to know he was really feeling his baby.

Now when I am asked if I am enjoying pregnancy I try and answer a little more truthfully and not so dramatically by saying I hate it. I truly do dislike a lot of it. But then I feel a kick or movement and it makes the heartburn and the SPD pain and everything else go away even just for a fleeting moment.  So, I would say I enjoy parts of pregnancy and will miss having that time where I am the only one that knows the baby is moving, sleeping , or hiccuping. It’s a time of bonding with the baby that feels so special that until that baby is born there is nothing like it.

Peace!

(as far as the title goes on this one Herm is the nickname Ben has given the baby….i rarely use it )